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Virgil Evetts |
10 things I ate about you
A short guide to the worlds sexiest food - Virgil Evetts
Can food be sexy? I think it can. I don’t mean in some icky,
‘9 ½ Weeks’ sort of way, nor the very dubious cult of aphrodisiacs,
[which suggests that anything vaguely phallic will transform you into a
Lothario of Warren Beatty proportions]. What I’m talking about are
those foods that, for whatever elusive or overt properties, are just so
damn sexy.
Think of the warm gush of sweet, liquefied fat when you crunch
through the crackling of roast pork belly. Imagine those tiny
explosions of lactic acid crystal as you bite down on a chunk of
vintage Parmesan. Now, just try to tell me that’s not sexy.
So I’ve been slowly compiling a list of the most drop-dead hot, oughta-be-R-rated foods I know.
Now obviously, like all lists, this tells you more about the
author’s predilections than anything else. There’s no science to this,
I didn’t survey the nation. It’s just about me and the foods that make
me swoon.
You might disagree with me completely; of course if you do, we can’t be friends anymore.
#1 Foie gras de canard/oie
Ok, it’s reprehensible I know, what with the funnel-feeding of the
birds and all, but this is undeniably hot stuff. Although the term
technically just means duck (or even better, goose) liver, the
intensive force-feeding transforms the liver into a stunningly rich,
silky delight in a league very much of its own. Served ala parfait with
toasted brioche and thick apple syrup, this is a treat so perfect that
you may find the whole world briefly vanishes behind a wave of flavour
and textural bliss. I kid you not; serious, ethics-challenging
sexiness. Like having a crush on Hitler I guess.
#2 Ganache
This miracle marriage of dark chocolate and cream is so often
relegated to the centre of truffles [the chocolate kind] or the outside
of cakes, but ganache can be so much more. The less cream you add, the
thicker it becomes. You can roll it in cocoa, form it in moulds or just
lick it from your fingers like a baby with the batter-bowl. To my mind
this is just about the truest expression of chocolate; a perfect,
sophisticated balance of bitter and sweet with a meltingly silky
texture and a clean finish on the palate. This is a little piece of
heaven we can all afford.
#3 King Salmon
The Scots are always banging on about their precious Highland
salmon. It’s the Queen’s favourite fish you know. You know what else?
It’s not really very good. I suppose if you’d never eaten salmon before
you might be fooled, but frankly this fish [A.K.A Atlantic salmon] just
doesn’t rate next to our very own [well not really, its an introduced
species.] King salmon. With its svelte smoothness, unmistakable
fragrance and rich, fatty flavour, King salmon is the number one luxury
fish of choice for many New Zealanders [although ironically it's now
cheaper than fresh snapper]. Sear it, smoke it hot or cold, eat it raw,
bake it with cream or do as the Swedes do and rustle-up some gravlax;
however you approach it, this fish is one hell of a culinary turn-on.
#4 Prosciutto cruda & Jamón ibérico
These are some miraculous meats. They really are. Take the leg of a
pig, add salt; give it some time and voila! You have a velveteen
pleasure worth hundreds of dollars per kilo, with a complexity of
flavour and texture that puts the best wines to shame. Of course it’s
not really that easy. Along the way, the Spanish and Italians work some
secret Latin mojo on these hams. A lot of picture-postcard propaganda
about the sweet air of Tuscan meadows or diets of acorns is thrown
about, but I suspect witchcraft. Nothing this seductive could be
natural or Godly, but it’s totally worth an eternity of pitch forks in
the bott-bott.
#5 Duck
Dense, flavoursome meat. sweet, copious fat and shatteringly crispy
skin. This is the bird that chicken should have been. I’ve been a fan
all my life, and still go out of my way to find the best purveyor of
Donald wherever I am. Often it’s my own kitchen, as good quality duck
is steadily becoming an affordable meat. One of the many delights of
Auckland’s large Asian population is that BBQ and roast duck is
available far and wide. Chinese roast duck, to my mind, is the
definitive way of partaking of le canard. Served on rice with just
steamed bok-choy it’s an exercise in understated class. The food
version of the little black dress, if you will.
www.foodlovers.co.nz
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