Virgil Evetts

10 things I ate about you

Think of the warm gush of sweet, liquefied fat when you crunch through the crackling of roast pork belly. Imagine those tiny explosions of lactic acid crystal as you bite down on a chunk of vintage Parmesan. Now, just try to tell me that’s not sexy.

So I’ve been slowly compiling a list of the most drop-dead hot, oughta-be-R-rated foods I know.

Now obviously, like all lists, this tells you more about the author’s predilections than anything else. There’s no science to this, I didn’t survey the nation. It’s just about me and the foods that make me swoon.

You might disagree with me completely; of course if you do, we can’t be friends anymore.

#1 Foie gras de canard/oie

Ok, it’s reprehensible I know, what with the funnel-feeding of the birds and all, but this is undeniably hot stuff. Although the term technically just means duck (or even better, goose) liver, the intensive force-feeding transforms the liver into a stunningly rich, silky delight in a league very much of its own. Served ala parfait with toasted brioche and thick apple syrup, this is a treat so perfect that you may find the whole world briefly vanishes behind a wave of flavour and textural bliss. I kid you not; serious, ethics-challenging sexiness. Like having a crush on Hitler I guess.

#2 Ganache

This miracle marriage of dark chocolate and cream is so often relegated to the centre of truffles [the chocolate kind] or the outside of cakes, but ganache can be so much more. The less cream you add, the thicker it becomes. You can roll it in cocoa, form it in moulds or just lick it from your fingers like a baby with the batter-bowl. To my mind this is just about the truest expression of chocolate; a perfect, sophisticated balance of bitter and sweet with a meltingly silky texture and a clean finish on the palate. This is a little piece of heaven we can all afford.

#3 King Salmon

The Scots are always banging on about their precious Highland salmon. It’s the Queen’s favourite fish you know. You know what else? It’s not really very good. I suppose if you’d never eaten salmon before you might be fooled, but frankly this fish [A.K.A Atlantic salmon] just doesn’t rate next to our very own [well not really, its an introduced species.] King salmon. With its svelte smoothness, unmistakable fragrance and rich, fatty flavour, King salmon is the number one luxury fish of choice for many New Zealanders [although ironically it's now cheaper than fresh snapper]. Sear it, smoke it hot or cold, eat it raw, bake it with cream or do as the Swedes do and rustle-up some gravlax; however you approach it, this fish is one hell of a culinary turn-on.

#4 Prosciutto cruda & Jamón ibérico

These are some miraculous meats. They really are. Take the leg of a pig, add salt; give it some time and voila! You have a velveteen pleasure worth hundreds of dollars per kilo, with a complexity of flavour and texture that puts the best wines to shame. Of course it’s not really that easy. Along the way, the Spanish and Italians work some secret Latin mojo on these hams. A lot of picture-postcard propaganda about the sweet air of Tuscan meadows or diets of acorns is thrown about, but I suspect witchcraft. Nothing this seductive could be natural or Godly, but it’s totally worth an eternity of pitch forks in the bott-bott.

#5 Duck

Dense, flavoursome meat. sweet, copious fat and shatteringly crispy skin. This is the bird that chicken should have been. I’ve been a fan all my life, and still go out of my way to find the best purveyor of Donald wherever I am. Often it’s my own kitchen, as good quality duck is steadily becoming an affordable meat. One of the many delights of Auckland’s large Asian population is that BBQ and roast duck is available far and wide. Chinese roast duck, to my mind, is the definitive way of partaking of le canard. Served on rice with just steamed bok-choy it’s an exercise in understated class. The food version of the little black dress, if you will.

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